


Please Be Kind If I'm a Mess

by Tsushi



Category: Lupin III
Genre: M/M, so it's sorta LuZeni and JigLup but not, they both love Lupin but are bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:53:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsushi/pseuds/Tsushi
Summary: Jigen sees sex about the same way he sees booze and cigarettes. He sneaks into Zenigata’s hotel room to hopefully satisfy a craving, but it’s not as good for stress relief as Jigen was hoping.Sometime around Part 1, Jigen and Zenigata both quietly pining for Lupin in a hotel room.
Relationships: Jigen Daisuke & Zenigata Kouichi, Jigen Daisuke/Zenigata Kouichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Please Be Kind If I'm a Mess

**Author's Note:**

> This is not as polished as some of my other fics so if you catch typos, feel free to let me know. I was trying so hard to get these two to just have a one night stand and get it over with but they weren't cooperating so, now there's this. Ah well, maybe next time! Hope you guys still liked it.

Zenigata was usually a pretty sound sleeper. And after a night that ended with a failed chase, he had passed out in the hotel room. Dead asleep on impact, the minute he’d gotten his wet clothes off. His legs were aching from all the running he had been doing, and his arms felt heavy after having to hold onto the ledge of a balcony for dear life. He probably smelled awful. He probably should’ve taken a shower. But he collapsed into the bed and was asleep before he even pulled up the covers. His energy was on the floor just like the shoes he had pulled off without even untying them.

It was a peculiar noise that woke him, the sound of a jostling screen, the metallic scrape of his window opening. He opened both eyes and shifted to see a gaunt shadow framed in the dimly lit space. He felt his adrenaline rising as he was seized with a bit of fear.

But as the figure planted both feet down onto the carpet, and fumbled with a lighter, the flash of orange light from the flame lit a familiar face. Jigen. Hatless, dark hair disheveled, but the man was unmistakable. At least for someone who had chased him all over the globe that is.

With fear beginning to retreat, a few other feelings found their way to the front of Zenigata’s mind. Namely, confusion and the sudden realization that he was in his underwear. He pulled the sheets up around himself swiftly and spoke with heavy indignation.

“What are you doin’ here?! How did you find me?”

Jigen gave a wry chuckle, the glowing tip of the cigarette bobbing as he spoke. “Pops, don’t you think we know where you’re staying most of the time?”  


“Answer the other part of the question!” 

Zenigata’s tone was harsh and rising. Frustrated by the way Jigen was giving off a light reflection of his usual companion. Being around Lupin so often, they must have rubbed off on one another, there was something about the grin, the tone, the teasing evasiveness. It set him off as if he was the man himself.

Jigen shrugged, took a drag, causing the fire to burn a little brighter, illuminating his bloodshot brown eyes and a glint of smiling white teeth in a curved grin. 

“Dunno, needed a place to hide for a few minutes.”

“Hide? From what?!” Zenigata’s voice was still rife with annoyance. If anything, Jigen should be hiding FROM him, not WITH him.

“Mmm.” Jigen didn’t specify further, he leaned back into a nearby chair and tapped his ashes into a cold half-filled coffee cup that Zenigata had left on the table. 

The ease with which Jigen and Lupin act like they own a place. It infuriated him. Zenigata scanned the room for his clothes, but they weren’t within arms reach. He gritted his teeth and barreled onward. It was the best he could do.

“I’m gonna to call for backup in 15 seconds if ya don’t start talkin'!”

“Settle down already...” Jigen gave a tired sigh. 

His sad eyes were visible with the hat off. It was the first time Zenigata noticed the bags under his eyes, how much more Jigen looked like him. Like a man who was exhausted, defeated, like he had failed to achieve something, not like a spritely little weasel like Lupin. Zenigata’s mood softened slightly, but he said nothing. Waiting for more.

“Ehhh... there’s a bar I used to go to, down there.” Jigen gestured vaguely towards the street below. “Was hoping to get lucky you know. Or at least drunk. But some guy I used to work with saw me and shit got crazy.”

Zenigata’s mind tried to untangle the vague bits of the statement, considering what he knew about Jigen’s ‘work’ he made an assumption. 

“A gang member? Contract killer?”

“Something like that,” Jigen replied with the same nonchalance, “I didn’t want the guy smashing the place up. I like that place.”

“So ya climbed up a balcony and snuck into my hotel room?” Zenigata found this part a bit less plausible, now that he was slightly more awake.

“Well... there was another thing...” 

Jigen tilted his head back, the cigarette bobbing toward the ceiling now. But after a brief pause, got to his feet quickly, interrupting the thought. He reached up and detached the smoke detector, slipping out the batteries in a motion that seemed disturbingly well-rehearsed.

“Ah... close call. Almost friggin’ forgot about that.” 

He gave a high pitched wheeze of a laugh, but it was genuine, as far as Zenigata could tell. Though with his hand to his forehead in laughter, Zenigata noticed a dark, wet stain on the sleeve of his suit.

Zenigata was unable to keep concern from his voice. “... Jigen, are you bleeding?”

In another circumstance, with the rushing excitement of a chase, he might consider getting a hit in on Jigen to be a victory, but in the quiet of a hotel room, it was impossible to turn off his strong empathy.

“Oh shit am I?” Jigen laughed and put his hand to the spot on his suit, rubbing fingers together and finding them red with blood. “Ah. He must have nicked me, it’s no big deal.”

“Why didn’t ya say somethin'?!” 

Zenigata wasn’t sure why this made him angry, but without thinking, hopped out of bed and pulled bandages from his suitcase. He always had quite a few things like that packed to bring with him, because he got tired of having to ask at the front desk or doing rushed shopping after whatever latest misfortune Lupin led him into.

Jigen had stopped his casual laughter, his eyes followed Zenigata as he moved. Silent, his pupils had flicked to his gun for just a moment, when he made the first sudden move, but with some relief to his nerves, they wandered to Zenigata’s broad chest, brown, with jagged lightly colored scars. He chewed on the end of the cigarette in his mouth.

Zenigata came close with the bandages in hand, and Jigen shifted his suit jacket off his shoulders. The blood was much easier to see against the light blue button up shirt underneath. Zenigata was put more at ease seeing the stain on his forearm was only about the size of a fist, it wasn’t too bad.

Jigen reached for the top button of his bloody shirt, threading it through the hole somewhat clumsily without looking down at it. Probably ruined, not that it mattered... His focus was still on Zenigata. They locked eyes unexpectedly as he looked down at the smaller man. Two sets of brown eyes digging just a little too deeply into each other’s private thoughts.

Jigen wasn’t used to having no hat to obscure his expression and he felt suddenly vulnerable. The room seemed warmer, despite having removed his jacket. He pulled his gaze quickly downward, focused on undoing his buttons, tugging the fabric out of the way, and slipping his arm free. 

Zenigata was almost impressed by Jigen’s collection of scars. There were old bullet wounds, some round like stars on his tan skin, some pocked and rough. There were thin lines, cuts, not quite straight or curved, puckered in some places from amateurish stitches in his past, all along his hairy arm and chest. He lifted it and reached for the bandages, but Zenigata took a firm hold on his injured arm and started to clean it with a stingingly painful alcohol pad.

He had such big hands, it was difficult for Jigen to focus on anything else. The pain was not even close to his main concern.

The gunman swallowed, his throat feeling a bit more dry, he wondered when exactly the buzz from the drinks he had earlier had worn off. Now he was wishing he had another. 

“Oh... you don’t have to do that...”

Zenigata didn’t reply as he wrapped it gently, but firmly. Jigen bit his lip, letting the stub of a cigarette that remained hang slack. Such a strong jaw, set in a look of meticulous focus, and really, his perseverance was always admirable. The muscles it took to keep up with someone like Lupin were in very plain view at the moment... very close to his face.

This damn cigarette was on its last legs. He spit it out into the nearby coffee cup, knowing it wasn’t exactly the most charming way to handle it, but not really wanting to pull his arm away just yet. Maybe he was still a little drunk. Or maybe it’s just the blood loss. 

Zenigata’s expression betrayed a certain amount of disgust as he eyed the little white filter floating in day old coffee. He should know better than to expect any kind of respect from Lupin’s lackeys. Of course even Jigen is content to leave him with a mess to deal with and then slip away, just like Lupin.

“There, you’re all fixed up. Anythin’ else I can get ya? Maybe ya want some dinner on the ICPO’s bill?” 

Zenigata’s tone was sarcastic, but he anticipated that a guy like this might even just say yes and try to press his buttons.

He braced for a snarky reply, but Jigen smiled at him with a tired warmth in his eyes and folded his shirt and jacket over his arm. 

“Thanks.”

Zenigata breathed out, there was no anticipating a guy like this. At least he knew how to be grateful, more than he could say for Lupin certainly.

Jigen stood up, and the hint of a smile was in his voice. “Actually. I do want something.”

The light was still dim, but their eyes had adjusted well, and they were close enough that Zenigata fought an urge to step backward.

“Do you wanna... uh...” he gestured toward the bed. “Have sex?”

Zenigata was unsure of how to process this. 

He felt sure that it must be a joke, because it was exactly the kind of joke that would make him feel flustered and leave him open to teasing. Lupin would blow him kisses, slink around spouting innuendoes. He was sure Lupin was well aware of his feelings for him and just used them as personal amusement.

But Jigen? He had never even thought about it. Jigen wasn’t a flirtatious joke type of person. Or maybe he was, how the hell would he know? Did this mean Jigen had feelings for him? And all this time he had given absolutely no indication? The inspector felt himself beginning to sweat. He didn’t know what to do with that idea. It floated without anything or any context to connect with.

Because he had no idea what to say, Zenigata was still milling through responses when Jigen spoke up again, with a fair amount of added discomfort.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to. I get it.”

Zenigata blinked as he came to the strange conclusion that this, somehow, must not actually be a joke, or else Jigen would probably not be acting so genuinely disappointed by the rejection.

“I... I don’t know.” He finally managed to stammer.

Jigen sounded cautiously optimistic. “Okay.” 

“So YOU... want to? You want to have sex with me? ...Right now?” 

Zenigata found himself having to repeat it all aloud just to be completely sure this was what they were talking about and that he wasn’t in some bizarre dream.

“Yeah, why not? We’re both already practically naked, and I’m guessing you’re going to leave in a day or two cuz Lupin stole that gem and gave it to Fujiko so you know you’re never gonna get it back. You’re just gonna be filling out paperwork and finishing formalities then getting on an airplane. Am I right?”

Distressingly accurate. Zenigata frowned thinking about it. The worst part of the job. The failure apology tour. Having to look the victims of the thief in the eyes and get down on his knees, apologizing. Sometimes with the deepest, heartfelt regrets, sometimes with tears in his eyes, reminding him how much he let them down by not being able to do his job. Sometimes getting yelled at by some racist billionaire who didn’t even care about the damn thing until Lupin decided to go and steal it. Then off to see his bosses, tail between his legs, after having talked a big game about this being the time he would finally capture him.

It was always terrible. And it was always humiliating.

“Maybe....” 

He felt a wave of defeat crashing down on him again. It had only been a few hours since Lupin had slipped through a police barricade, pushed him from a roof, forced him to hang there while he watched Jigen and Lupin’s fancy shoes disappear from view.

He scowled.

“But so what if that’s all true, is this just another chance for ya to embarrass me?” 

Zenigata’s distrustful glance made Jigen feel guilty, despite not having intended anything of the sort. In fact, he had barely even thought about the larger implications of it all. He was just a little tipsy, and very lonely.

“I didn’t come in here to embarrass you, Zenigata. I didn’t really plan any of this out in the first place. Lupin is the planning guy. I just go with the flow.” He shrugged as if there was nothing to be changed about himself or the situation, all just things the way that they were, “And right now the flow has me here, and you’re shirtless and I guess I thought... big, hot guy like that, it might be nice. That’s it.”

Zenigata felt his face get hot, he still wasn’t sure what to say. Being so large, he thought of himself as an intimidating presence, great when he was chasing down a criminal perhaps, but in the office, in his normal life, a lumbering imposition, trying to find ways to crouch and to put people at ease as best he could. He never thought of his size as something someone might like about him, because he rarely liked it about himself.

He found, to his own frustration, that he had become far better at knowing what to do with mocking than what to do with praise. It made his heart lurch thinking that someone was actually attracted to that part of him. That it wasn’t a negative aspect inherently. It was just something he’d framed that way, because of how often he startled people, how often he just didn’t fit in a space.

“You’re bein’ serious?” He asked yet again, hesitant, though he could tell Jigen was.

Jigen sounded exasperated when he replied for what felt like the third time. “Yes.”

“Sorry. It’s just not somethin’... people ask me very often...”

Jigen clicked his tongue with a twinge of impatience. “Well I’m about to stop asking, because you seem like you don’t want to.” 

Zenigata had a hair trigger for tears, and something about the whole situation started to make him well up. Thinking about being wanted, it had been longer than he cared to admit. He felt them sting and he hoped it was dark enough that Jigen might not notice.

“Sorry I snapped,” the gunman said ruefully. He had definitely noticed. “It’s just a little awkward, you responding like that. Maybe I should go.”

Zenigata put a hand on Jigen’s bare shoulder and shook his head. “Stay. You said people are lookin for ya, right? Well they sure as hell wouldn’t think to look here.”

Jigen was nearly overwhelmed by the firmness of both the grip and the command. This was a bad idea, he could already tell. His eyes darted off to the open window, which was still a viable exit if he really needed it. But he was somewhat loathe to let an opportunity to make a huge mistake pass.

“Yeah and if they go looking for Lupin to find me, Fujiko will just sell him out for a tidy profit and I can avoid a second near death experience for the evening...” there was a glint of anger in his eyes and his words had a splash of venom.

Zenigata couldn’t help himself, he couldn’t help but read between the lines as an investigator.

“Are you two fightin? I didn’t think you two ever disagreed...”

“What you don’t know about me could fill a damn bookshelf.” 

The lower half of his face was almost motionless, no frown, no expression, not even much in his vocal tone. But this close, it was all in his pained eyes. Did Jigen always look like that, and just hid it well with the hat?

As ill advised as it was, a look like that was enough to set off Zenigata’s protective urge. Using the hand on his shoulder, he pulled Jigen closer, into a hug.

Jigen took the unexpected gesture in, warm skin against his cheek, his face only up Zenigata’s broad, barrel chest. He couldn’t move, stuck in the agonizing intimacy of hearing someone else’s heartbeat. He shut his eyes, imagined sleeping right there, standing up, just having someone who would hold you tight instead of always caring about his damn self first.

They both pulled away, not sure which had done so first, broke the spell of the moment as it stretched on far longer than either would have guessed.

Jigen covered his face with a hand, tried to hide how red his face was, and started to laugh. “This is so weird.”

Zenigata was defensive this time, “You’re the one who asked me, ya know...”

“Yeah I asked if you wanted to have sex! Not if you wanted to...” Jigen gulped, groping for the right way to say it, “be my therapist or whatever.”

“You looked upset, what was I supposed to do?”

“I dunno. Let me do something stupid in peace I guess.” Jigen huffed, searching his pocket for another cigarette, he needed something to do with his hands.

“So I’m somethin' stupid?!” 

Jigen gave up on finding the cigarette. “Yeah, you’re fucking stupid, just not as stupid as I am.”

“What is WRONG with you?!” Zenigata said with increasing exasperation.

Jigen shrugged, but he at least looked apologetic, “Hell if I knew that I wouldn’t be here.”

“Jigen, maybe you should just get some sleep. I’ll take the sofa and-“

Jigen looked smaller and more deflated than even his normal slump.

“I can pretend to be Lupin, if that helps.”

“What?!” Zenigata shook his head vigorously, extremely red in the face, “Hell no!”

“I mean I’ve done it for him, it’s not a big deal.”

“Oh my god! No! Please just lay down and stop talkin’.”

Jigen sat down on the side of the bed and put his head in his hands. He felt even lower than he had earlier when Lupin gleefully handed that gem to Fujiko without even asking him, on the assurance that it was going to ‘help his chances’. Of course Jigen didn’t care about the stupid gem, but he could have at least bothered to ask.

He never asked, he just did whatever he wanted to do in the first place, and then thanked him for being such a great friend. Good pal. Best partner a guy could ask for. Not asking, because how would it benefit Lupin to do that?

Jigen felt something light and soft being draped onto his head. He looked up, and found it was one of Zenigata’s white undershirts.

“Yours are all bloody. I’ll go soak ‘em in the tub. Just get some rest.” 

Zenigata was already taking the suit jacket and shirt out of the room. Jigen frowned, this was the kind of leaning on others that made him feel queasy: he wasn’t worth the trouble.

But fighting back felt just as tiring, Jigen pulled on the shirt, it hung loose and was pleasantly roomy. It smelled like detergent, a chemically made fresh smell that still managed to be comforting.

He laid back on the pillow, and called into the bathroom over the sound of a faucet, presumably Zenigata filling the bathtub as promised.

“Are you gonna arrest me?”

Zenigata’s reply was a disgruntled, difficult to comprehend sort of noise. Jigen sat back up, the sound of his blood pounding in his ears too loudly for him to relax. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, leaned against the door frame.

Zenigata turned to look at him, tired eyes that grew slightly more warm seeing the skinny man in his far too large shirt.

“Maybe I will.” Zenigata finally said.

“Maybe? Well tell me now, I want a head start on running at least.”

“You like to gamble don’t ya? Well then. I’m sayin maybe. Maybe I will. Lupin will come to rescue ya. Maybe I’ll just have some great bait an’ catch ya both.” 

Zenigata’s exhaustion seemed to melt off as he settled into his next plan. The fire was back inside him, and by the time he finished talking he was looking ready for another round against the world’s greatest thief.

“You really think you can do it, huh?” Jigen laughed, “I can finally see why he likes you.”

Zenigata’s confidence was quickly scattered by that revelation, if Jigen knew it or not, it was the first time he had proof that Lupin actually felt the same way he did. Even if it was only a tepid admission of interest, Zenigata felt something seize in his throat. He needed a quick distraction to keep himself from looking too weak. He shut off the water, leaving the room in a sudden well of uneasy silence.

“Look, the bed is real big, I’m not gonna be able to relax if I think I’m making you lay on the couch. We don’t have to do anything. Just sleep.”

Zenigata gave a nod and they didn’t say anything else, just climbed onto opposite sides of the bed. The sound of a passing car hitting the accelerator a bit too loudly, the growling hum, and then what was left, the sound of two men breathing quietly, close enough to hear each other, but not touching.


End file.
